In her eyes I see myself reflected, a high-strung workaholic who constantly bites off more than is chewable. In her eyes I see myself reflected, I am fallible, but I cannot be. My purpose won’t allow me to.
I want a legacy, but not a cheap one where I shoot up a mall for fifteen minutes of infamy. I want remembrance, like Benjamin Franklin has. Like Plato. I want my name burned into the history books. To prove I exist.
In the mornings I read, go for a jog, meditate, eat. In the afternoons I work on videos, write ads, market products. In the evenings I go to parties and if it’s a weekend a club. I must improve, I must become the best me I can be. I must carve my name into the history books.
But I don’t know how. Lily always looks at me, exasperated. Our son is well-cared for. I make sure to attend his soccer games. I make sure the best tutors attend to his education. So why, why does she look at me like I will one day implode?
I’m afraid I’ll disappear. That none of my actions will have mattered to history. Why can’t she understand that! Why can’t…
Tomorrow my company will hit its first million. Tomorrow I will gain resources to make a suitable dent in this world. I will end poverty! I will make education free! I will make sure every child is loved and taken care of!
The world spins and I hit the floor. Silly me, I’ve lost my bearing. It seems I’m in need of water if I am lightheaded enough to fall.
The taste of copper fills the back of my throat. Hello old friend, please wait, I have not achieved what this world requires of me yet. I dust myself off and return to my paperwork.
Tomorrow is the first step, I must make haste. I must immortalize my actions and that can only happen if they are worthy of it. I must…
“Mark, come to bed, it’s half past two.” Lily yawns, bidding me away from my work. Yes, this is a good place to stop. I will succeed before it ends.